Unfaithful friends are a lot more dangerous than any open enemy as one will keep an eye on the enemy, however, will snooze on red flags regarding the friends.
I've read this rule as don't trust friends when it comes to hard business decisions as by default friends want to be nice and supportive. For example, I recently showed my poetry book cover to 10 friends. 9 of them said it was "beautiful" ...but one said he hated it. When I pushed him why he gave me the real feedback I needed which resulted in a better book cover. These are the friends I treasure. Ones that may not always be "nice" but their honesty makes you better.
I’m usually that friend, who can be that person saying that I might not like this or that too much. 😂 I’ve also told my female friends when they’re totally being idiots towards their bfs. 😂 And the reaction is shocking cuz somehow for some reason people expect friends to tolerate all kinds of weird sh*t. But is that really a friend, who can’t have the courage to say - this work is not it and what exactly is not it..? Like, you instantly get a different perspective, if it’s well executed critic, and it can save this work; make it better.
Is that a friend, who will never ever tell you that, you know, your guy does this or that, and you right now just want his whole world to circle around you only, forgetting that he’s also a human having his life. A glorious example right out of my life, where I said exactly that. To this day I remember the friend’s shock as she was expecting me to be “a woman supporting another woman”, and me telling her that she’s being problematic really wasn’t on her bingo card. That relationship didn’t last forever, however, I prolonged it at that point. If I’d be going with “all males are swines”, it probably would end right there.
I think, friends should be that reality check for us that, yes, mostly will support us, but giving a reality check on us is also a support and helps us to become a better person. It’s kind of horrifying, if to think, that any legit criticism these days is being taken as a personal insult and can turn somebody into an enemy. I also have learned not to tell things to people as they won’t see my point, but will simply get offended. There’s also those “friends” who mask rudeness and disrespect (and envy) behind a mask of being honest, those are also creatures to figure out.
However, I’d rather be honest than just sugarcoat things in order to keep a friendship. If I have to do that, it’s not a friendship, and most likely… a person like that is talking behind the backs as well.
This comment is way longer than I intended it to be, lol. 😂
I really try to be. Knowing that there’s so many shady people around all of us, I always try to keep it real. The fame of being honest, actually, has few times also saved my back - whenever I accidentally have dropped into smth shady, people sooner or later tend to recall that it’s not me who would be likely to do smth weird. It has a high price of often being alone, however, I’m glad that I can sleep in peace at night knowing that I’ve been truthful in wte situation passed on me.
Nathan this is absolutely brilliant!! If I wasn't typing on my phone I'd write more but thank you 🙏
Unfaithful friends are a lot more dangerous than any open enemy as one will keep an eye on the enemy, however, will snooze on red flags regarding the friends.
I've read this rule as don't trust friends when it comes to hard business decisions as by default friends want to be nice and supportive. For example, I recently showed my poetry book cover to 10 friends. 9 of them said it was "beautiful" ...but one said he hated it. When I pushed him why he gave me the real feedback I needed which resulted in a better book cover. These are the friends I treasure. Ones that may not always be "nice" but their honesty makes you better.
I’m usually that friend, who can be that person saying that I might not like this or that too much. 😂 I’ve also told my female friends when they’re totally being idiots towards their bfs. 😂 And the reaction is shocking cuz somehow for some reason people expect friends to tolerate all kinds of weird sh*t. But is that really a friend, who can’t have the courage to say - this work is not it and what exactly is not it..? Like, you instantly get a different perspective, if it’s well executed critic, and it can save this work; make it better.
Is that a friend, who will never ever tell you that, you know, your guy does this or that, and you right now just want his whole world to circle around you only, forgetting that he’s also a human having his life. A glorious example right out of my life, where I said exactly that. To this day I remember the friend’s shock as she was expecting me to be “a woman supporting another woman”, and me telling her that she’s being problematic really wasn’t on her bingo card. That relationship didn’t last forever, however, I prolonged it at that point. If I’d be going with “all males are swines”, it probably would end right there.
I think, friends should be that reality check for us that, yes, mostly will support us, but giving a reality check on us is also a support and helps us to become a better person. It’s kind of horrifying, if to think, that any legit criticism these days is being taken as a personal insult and can turn somebody into an enemy. I also have learned not to tell things to people as they won’t see my point, but will simply get offended. There’s also those “friends” who mask rudeness and disrespect (and envy) behind a mask of being honest, those are also creatures to figure out.
However, I’d rather be honest than just sugarcoat things in order to keep a friendship. If I have to do that, it’s not a friendship, and most likely… a person like that is talking behind the backs as well.
This comment is way longer than I intended it to be, lol. 😂
You sound like a great friend!
I really try to be. Knowing that there’s so many shady people around all of us, I always try to keep it real. The fame of being honest, actually, has few times also saved my back - whenever I accidentally have dropped into smth shady, people sooner or later tend to recall that it’s not me who would be likely to do smth weird. It has a high price of often being alone, however, I’m glad that I can sleep in peace at night knowing that I’ve been truthful in wte situation passed on me.