Introduction
At some point on our stroll down the garden path of life we put our foot down on some curious and menacing creatures. Spotting these people as soon as possible is a useful skill to cultivate. I’m sure there are many more types of snakes out there but let’s start with these three…
Schemers
These are snakes with a goal, Machiavellian folk who want to ascend the greasy pole of success. For them, their goals, plans and ambitions are their dark North Star. Some of them flex this overtly, but others mask it well.
Supreme strategy is the centrepiece of this type’s toolkit. They are always, and I mean always, manoeuvring themselves into better positions in life. Finding an angle is their eternal prerogative. Their relationships will often be transactional in nature, people have functional value to them and the sentimental side of their brain is… missing.
Ask yourself this: who in your life seems to climb the ladder and pull it up behind them? Who drops people once they’ve ascended to a higher social status?
The best approach with this type is to either align with their goals or, more often, to not get in their way. If you have to be in contact, or worse yet working with them, make sure you’re getting what you need as early as possible. Waiting for the reward at the end of your hard work is a dangerous approach - they might not want to share the glory. Counterintuitively, it’s better to work for this type of person instead of with them. Sure, you might not get the credit you’ve earned, but you dodge the difficulties of being in direct partnership with them, you're less entangled.
Self-Destructors
These are the drama magnets of life. They are catalysts of chaos who will drag you into their frenzy. They are also often exciting and fun to be around - which is why they’re dangerous. In that sense, they’re easy to spot but harder to resist.
Ultimately, although these people might be wildly charismatic and full of genuine potential, they will implode. The heady cycle of hope and disappointment they induce is in itself quite addictive, but the time will come where the disappointment is permanent and leaves deep marks. Perhaps we want to save them. Maybe, if we’re being very optimistic, we hope that in saving them we’ll save ourselves too somehow. Most likely, buried deep in some recess of our minds, we know it’s a fruitless endeavour, but it doesn’t stop us from trying.
If you find yourself often in contact with or attracted to these kinds of people then there’s no easy tactic to employ to escape, a broader approach is needed. These types of people draw us in during moments of our lives where we’re bored, lost and disenchanted. Their drama - although it won’t look like drama initially - is electrifying in its contrast to our daily lives. So avoiding these people requires filling those gaps in our lives through which they might slip in.
Ironically, the best time to get involved with these people is when you don’t have much else going on in your life. At least then the damage can be minimised. If you have serious responsibilities and obligations then summon up all the resistance you can muster.
Survivors
These are the hardest to spot. This is the person who’s been at your work for decades, weathering storms and regime changes. Other people rise and fall as these types go under the radar. These ‘grey men’ of the world will turn from ally to foe as their need dictates. If they need to help you they will. If they need to push you under the bus, so be it.
They’re marked by a curious lack of ambition in tandem with a ruthless desire to maintain their positions. It’s easy to miss them for this reason - why would someone exert so much energy to just remain as they are? They’re survivors. What they lack in desire they make up for in durability. The biggest mistake you can make with this type is to assume their passive nature makes them ignorable or non-factors.
Ask yourself this: who has been around for a long time yet seems unassuming, nondescript and just part of the furniture of a place? There’s a reason for this. When things get testy and it’s between you or them, they’ll fight fiercely for themselves in ways that might shock you.
This type of snake might not be a major predator, but they still feed on something, so stay off their menu.
Let me know what types of snakes you’ve encountered in your life…
The prettiest snake I've come across was when I was hiking and it was jet black with an electric blue line across it. It crossed me and I happened to jump right over in the nick of time. I used to have a pet snake. Pretty, soft, and cold. I would also feed it live mice. I don't know if that's exactly the best answer, but I view things mostly very biological, so I don't really get crossed by any kind of snake. Does this make me basic? Lol